"She will place on your head a graceful garland;
she will bestow on you a beautiful crown."
proverbs 4:9

a year ago in my journal i asked God for a crown of flowers from all the different places i have been to when i enter the kingdom of heaven. God told me He was already making me a crown. as i was talking with my sister on the phone a couple of days ago i realized all the traveling, meeting many different people, being exposed to many cultures, having my eyes opened to different perspectives of individuals, seeing His beautiful scenery has allowed me to receive a beautiful crown. wisdom/understanding is placing this garland composed of many flowers so delicately on my head marking the insight i have been so privileged to obtain. flowers are being added as i step into new environments, now locations. just as i see a facet or attribute of God in one culture i smell the unique refreshing scent of one of the distinct flowers in my crown.

i continue to love and treasure the pictures i receive.

I wash my robes in the blood of the Lamb

Now I'm dead to sin.

Made alive again.

I wash my robes in the blood of the Lamb.

Because I want to be like Him.

praise God for Jesus' blood that was shed, the light He shines, the life He gives, the opportunity to be like Him.

what has been on my heart.

“the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

                                                                2^nd Cor. 12:9

What does this look like?

                His power is so great… how could it so delicately and daintily rest upon me…

I see His hand pushing upon my back as I am sprawled out on a bed.

Though the springs are being exercised as the mattress touches the floor I am consumed with peace.

Because I know the weight of His power will give me the strength to get out of bed.

There is a certain amount of pressure, but it is like when He disciplines. He knows exactly what to do and how much to give or exert.

 So as I rise slowly on the mattress I feel His hand lessening but His power filling me.

I know He has come, changed me if just a small amount, and allowed me to rest as He worked His power into a position of prevailing.

“Sustain me with cakes of raisins, refresh me with apples, for I am lovesick.”

Song of Songs 2:5.

My study notes on Song of Songs filled me in on the following…

The raisins are symbolic of the Holy Spirit… the joy and fullness of the Spirit.

The apple represents the satisfaction only found in Jesus.

Therefore, it is saying, “Sustain me with more of Your Holy Spirit and refresh me with more of Jesus.”

I love the symbolism, how Song of Songs is aesthetically pleasing. Often times I find myself sharing how I am doing, how I am feeling by using pictures or parallels.

Someone from my core group shared this past week the beauty of people closing their eyes when praying. We watched a movie updating us on the one year anniversary since the Haitian earthquake… over 10,000 people gathered together for 12 hours praising the Lord for His mercy, compassion, and grace. To see these peoples’ facial expressions with eagerness and expectation and then their eyes closed seeking out His beauty was one of the most precious sights. They are not surrounded by distractions, of” beautiful” temporary objects. They are consumed with seeking out and finding the beauty of the Father. With eyes closed their hearts and minds are opened to a whole other realm.

So with both of these artistic revelations, the verse from Song of Songs and the idea of closing your eyes when praying to seek out His beauty, my mind formed pondered and thought upon the beauty of abandonment.

To be 100% obedient to Him because He is my all in all… to have the obedience stem from affection towards Him in realizing more and more the love He has for me.

To trust as I close my eyes and know He will show me what this world could never reveal

To be sustained by His breath of life and nothing of my own

To be refreshed by the continuous thought that Jesus is worthy… I am entitled to nothing.

I have been receiving so much revelation on being carved out for Him so He can pour out who He is and the love He has for me inside of my heart, my inner man. He can only satisfy the void in my heart. The earthly pleasures are being pushed out… “gutted” out.  I don’t want to mix anything of this world with His holy, righteous, pure love.

He is showing me what I need to fully let go of. For He is a good Father and knows how I can be set free and set apart. He knows what keeps me attached and indulging in this world. So I am…

“letting go”

“being gutted out”

“being mesmerized as I close my eyes”

And “being sustained and refreshed by Holy Spirit.”