Hephzibah.

i grew up sitting at the grown up's table. i was always intrigued by the conversation and even at age seven, eight, or nine found it more worth my time to be distracted by big words versus being distracted by the loud obnoxious yelling coming from a friend, my sister, or a cousin. i did allow my imagination to explore in more simple settings but what i really craved was an intellectual conversation that made me feel important just by participating in it.

now lets fast forward to the present day... an event that occurred last night to be more specific.

upon removing my finger nail polish i knew i was in for a treat. my five year old cousin wanted to upgrade my nails. i smirked as she grasped the nail polish brush ever so tightly. i had requested her to use yellow but she responded with, "Lets make your hand a rainbow." granted we only got to two nails before she was preoccupied with beautifying my hair. however, i cannot help but smile with contentment when looking at my right hand. the finger nail polish is smeared on my skin and there are obvious gaps where the brush accidentally missed. she only needed to stroke the nail once to be completely satisfied with her work.

so as i was sitting in my cousin's perfectly pink princess room last night i wanted to giggle to myself. the first thought that popped into my mind was, "i am being beautified by simplicity." i love how my cousin brought me into her world. all that was on her mind was exemplifying my beauty. her mind was on the moment and she wanted to love in a most pure, unhindered way. 

as all of these memories, thoughts, and giggles were coming together i realized in the past week i have been receiving so many blessings as i have been simply surrendering.

i want God to be the one who controls my life. now i might not always feel like is what i want but at the core of my being this is what i cry out for.

when i allow God to control i am put in a place where i have to trust that He will provide.

i have to trust in His love.

i have to trust in the words that He has spoken to and over me.

so this is the truth.

simply...

i am His daughter.

He is my provider.

He is obsessed with my needs.

i am loved unconditionally by Him.

although i still appreciate intellectual conversations today i find myself thirsting for moments of getting my nails painted, sitting in a setting where i cannot help but think i am a princess as the pink envelopes me, and hearing God call me "Daughter." i want to be saturated in His truth that i know i often times find myself overanalyzing and mulling over until it gets dull. i want His sharp truth to pierce me. may my heart and mind be beautified by simplicity.